


Restless Nights Lead to Reckless Behavior

by Tomomi



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Bad Decisions, Drug Addiction, F/M, Family Drama, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Multi, One Night Stands, Orgy, Social Anxiety, there are more pairings but theyre not the main ones and i dont wanna spam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:08:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26018527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tomomi/pseuds/Tomomi
Summary: Years of peace between the kingdoms of Nohr and Hoshido have done nothing for the animosity of the public. All attempts to mend this cultural bad blood only fans the flames, and it doesn't help when the royals themselves aren't exactly getting along like they hoped. Xander plans a grand festival as a means to break the ice between the Nohrians and the Hoshidans, with all the stress and pressures that comes with it. Two families begin to crumble as the inevitable day approaches, and Takumi falls down a dark path when he gets tangled up in the affairs of a certain retainer.
Relationships: Leon | Leo/Zero | Niles, Takumi/Zero | Niles
Kudos: 2





	1. A Prologue Of Sorts

Sweat dripped off the prince’s skin and onto the dirty sheets below. His chest rose and fell with each coming breath, each one feeling as though his body was being crushed by stones. His mind felt like a thick, muddy soup of pain and rhythmic pounding. The room he was in was dark, and he wasn’t quite sure where he was, or what he had just done.

He just knew that a naked woman lied on his chest, passed out in her own sweat and drool. Around him, he could hear the strained breathing of a few men around him. All of them, presumably naked, reeked of alcohol and… something else. They were nowhere near as attractive as he last remembered. Neither was the girl.

He arose from his spot and upright, watching as the woman stiffly rolled off his body. The movement made his stomach churn in anger, but he couldn’t care less what his body thought right now. He focused on their faces and could tell they were Hoshidan- potentially a problem, but he doubts any of these commoners would remember such a night.

Nor would anyone believe the tale.

Takumi certainly wasn’t planning on keeping this in his mind, nor did he plan to stay. And as he snagged his clothes and bow, he escaped the disgusting room as if it were his own prison...


	2. It All Began With The Reunion

**Many, many weeks earlier…**

“G-gods…” Sakura’s voice broke the silence that had swarmed the palanquin she and her sister sat in. “It’s so much more… lively than when we left.”

Hinoka opened an eye for the first time in hours to see her younger sister leaned over to catch a peek through a slit she opened in the door. Almost as instantly as it clicked, Hinoka snatched Sakura’s arm and yanked her back from the opening.

Hinoka then snapped at her, “are you insane?!” She released her hold on her and fixed her position back on her knees.

“Ah! Sorry, sorry!” Sakura quickly exclaimed and fixed herself as well. 

“We’re covered for a reason, we’re not supposed to reveal ourselves yet!” Hinoka clutched the bottom of her robes to keep herself from fidgeting. After some silence, she glanced over to Sakura to see her stiffened figure and her downcast expression. 

Giving in to her guilt, Hinoka sighed, “I know it’s hard to sit like this for so long but we have to follow orders.” 

Sakura only nodded. 

Some time passed by as the pegasus’ carried the royals smoothly through the sky. The palanquin was mostly hidden by the dark clouds around them, but as expected, there was hardly a threat of bad weather. Even so, monks were at work at various parts of the carrier to keep a consistent magical barrier around them at all times. 

The ride was mostly silent, if not unbearably so.

Sakura kept her gaze focused on the fabric that lined the floorboards. Something was itching to leave her throat for the longest time, but she felt odd saying it now that the conversation ended so long ago. She gave a glance in her sister’s direction, and saw her attempts at meditating were proving ineffective by the looks of her twitching body and frustrated expression. 

Sakura felt horrible speaking when she was trying so hard to concentrate, but she did so anyway, “I-I.. just wanted to see what Nohr looked like after all this time…”

Hinoka’s chest raised as she took in a deep breath, and she let it out with a grunt. 

“We’ll get plenty of chances to look at it from the castle.” She said, opening her eyes finally. She then smiled, “If I remember correctly, Elise’s room has the best view of them all.”

Sakura nodded, “Yes, but…”

“But..?”

Hinoka watched as her younger sister’s shoulders slouched in defeat. 

“I know it’s only been 5 years…” Sakura started, repeatedly hugging her hands over one another. “.. but I can’t help but feel like things have changed. What if she doesn’t… like me anymore, y-you know?” Her eyes fell back to the floor. “I know it’s childish, but I’m worried we… w-we won’t exactly get along as well as we used to..” She waited for Hinoka to respond, but was only met with the soft sounds of her breathing. Soon enough the wait became unbearable and Sakura looked back up to catch her in the midst of a deep stretch.

“Hmm…” Hinoka finally hummed in thought before releasing her strain. “Well, you’ve certainly changed. You’re not the shy little girl you were before. So it’s only natural she’ll be different as well.”

Sakura bit her inner cheek, “Oh..”

“But,” Hinoka tapped Sakura’s leg with her foot and flashed a toothy grin. “Both of you are the kindest souls I know. I have no doubts you two are gonna pick up right where you left off!” Sakura still didn’t look convinced, so Hinoka continued to shake her with her foot.

“Loosen up! We’ve got it easy today. Ryoma’s the one who’s gonna have to do all the talking.”

Sakura looked up and smiled at that.

“You’re right about that one…” She giggled nervously and rubbed her hand again. “I couldn’t imagine speaking in front of all those people!”

“It’s not _that_ bad. People look up to us anyway. It’s hard to disappoint.” Hinoka smirked and leaned back on her hands. “Especially with Ryoma. I’m sure even the Nohrians will have some respect for what he has to say.”

“Hmm.” Sakura shifted her seat. She wanted to say something about _that_ specifically, but knew better. She kept what she wanted to say inside, and focused her attention to the door. She wanted to take another look at the kingdom.

“I hope Takumi is okay..”

* * *

They reached their destination no more than a few hours later. Hinoka fixed her posture to match Sakura’s as they sat and waited for their cue. They were set to step out of their palanquin once Ryoma, now their king, stepped out to make the first greetings. They waited, and waited, and waited some more, running up Hinoka’s patience. Several minutes passed by and still nothing happened. At times, Hinoka would peek over at Sakura and see her fidget from the anticipation. Even she would find herself shifting from side to side on her sore knees. The fabric beneath her was doing nothing to help her right now.

“ _Where are they?_ ” Hinoka hissed under her breath. 

“ _M-maybe they were attacked..”_ Sakura whispered back.

A few moments later, they heard the distant sounds of a pegasus landing and various voices chatting about outside. It didn’t take too long for the sisters’ door to slide open to reveal light for the first time since they left. Both sets of their retainers were instantly at their doorstep to help them off the carrier.

Hinoka stepped out first with the hand of Azama and Setsuna at her guard. Then came Sakura with Subaki and Hana at her side. Around them were the walls that sheltered the front entrance of the castle. It kept out any view of the rest of Windmire, and led directly to the foot of the entrance where the Nohrian royal family stood waiting. Everyone was there; Xander, Camilla, Leo and Elise. But neither Takumi or Ryoma was outside waiting for them. Not even Corrin was to be seen.

“U-um…” Sakura spoke at Hinoka’s side. “Where are… our brothers?”

“Hmm, supposedly there’s been a bit of a hold up.” Subaki answered without missing a beat. She noticed as he subconsciously raised his chin at the various Nohrian guards that stood at either side of the wall. “Takumi sent ahead a message for us to get settled as soon as possible.”

“ _What_?!” Hinoka snapped, “That’s not what we agreed on-!”

“Always so willing to make a scene, Lady Hinoka.” Azama chimed in at her side. His presence was enough of a reminder to keep it together. “It may be hard, but _please_ let’s not forget our manners. Today, we are guests.”

As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. They truly were just honored guests at the foot of unknown territory. Hinoka reminded herself to keep her cool.

“When will they be here?” She simply asked through gritted teeth.

Azama smiled and clutched his staff tighter. “Soon.” 

They made their way up to the front steps where the other siblings stood. Although it took little time to reach them, Sakura honestly felt as though she would keel over under the weight of everyone’s gaze. Once up close, both of their retainers stepped behind their backs and watched as their Nohrian counterparts did the same.

Hinoka was the first to speak, giving a small bow, “Apologies for the wait.”

Sakura followed suit, sinking much deeper, “We’re very grateful to be invited as your g-guests…” She pinched her leg for stuttering on that last part. Years of training to manage her stutter with little progress.

“It is always an honor to have you, princess Sakura.” Xander spoke. His voice boomed with confidence that left Sakura feeling embarrassed of herself. “And you as well, Princess Hinoka. No apologies needed.” Both princesses rose from their bow and were escorted inside the castle shortly after greetings. They played the rest of the day by ear as they waited for their brothers to land.

* * *

**Several hours later..**

_‘Where are they?’_ Sakura wondered as her foot anxiously bounced under the dinner table she and the other royals were sat at. Food had not arrived yet in respect of Ryoma, Corrin and Takumi who still hadn’t arrived. Light chatter came from the edge of the table where Camilla and Xander stood. At times Leo would pop in for a quick comment or even silly banter. Hinoka kept mostly to herself.

Sakura could only focus on the door that separated them from the banquet and the rest of the castle. Her thoughts still buzzed with the same question she’s had for hours, _‘Where are they?’_

“ _Hey Sakura.”_ Elise’s voice shattered all of her jumbled thoughts.

“Huh?”

“ _You’re leg’s going crazy_!”

Sakura quickly stopped her foot's incessant tapping and felt her face go red. She _hated_ this kind of seating. Back home, being on a cushion prevented this kind of fidgeting from happening. She had no idea how the Nohrians were able to function without making fools of themselves. 

All the siblings sat at the table, save for Xander who was the last to be seated. He stood at the end of the table patiently as he spoke. Sakura felt as though she would break under the pressure. She had dismissed her retainers like everyone else, but she really just needed _someone_ right now. Someone that could keep her mind off things.

“ _Now your face is glowing red!”_ Elise whispered again with a giggle. Sakura looked down at her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. 

_‘Anybody!’_

“Lord Xander!” A childish voice disrupted everyone in the hall. All eyes turned to the door to see Peri peeking through the crack. 

“Ah, Peri.” Xander’s expression softened at the sight of his retainer. “What is it?” His eyebrows lifted as the realization set in. “Wait, does this mean they’re..?”

Peri giggled and pushed open the door to reveal prince Takumi alongside his two retainers. 

“Tadaaaa!” She beamed as she presented what looked to be her findings. “The prince has finally arrived!!” Sakura felt a mound of stress roll off her shoulders the instant he saw her brother.

“A-ah,” Xander smiled at his new company, although hesitantly. “Wonderful. Please, come in.” 

Takumi stood there at the entrance and gave Peri a quick glance for guidance.

“ _Well?_ He’s the king, you do what _he_ says.” She grinned and twisted herself back around the door.

“And you two are coming with me!” Takumi could hear his retainers being pulled back from the room. A few seconds later the door shut loudly behind him, leaving all attention on him.

“ _Okay..”_ He whispered to himself before making his way into proper view. Hinoka eyed him as she waited for his greeting. She was at least glad to know that he reached the castle safely, but-

“I’m afraid Ryoma and Corrin won’t be joining us this evening.” Takumi blurted out as he approached everyone. His eyelashes fluttered in thought, and he decided not to beat around the bush. “Not tomorrow either.”

“What?” Xander’s expression finally fell like it had been threatening to the entire evening. “What’s the meaning of this? Was there trouble on the way here?” A mixture of worry and irritation plagued his expression. “I offered several of my men for this exact scenario.”

Takumi swallowed a lump in his throat and choked, “Well--” He reached to his side and pulled out a small scroll. “This was sent to us this morning from Corrin.” He unraveled the parchment and continued, 

“ _My dearest family,_

_I hope this finds you well._

_I know it’s unlike me to be so short notice, and I hope this is not too much of an inconvenience, but I decided I will not be attending our reunion._

_I have more urgent matters to tend to with the kingdom of Valla. I tried to prepare myself in advance for this occasion, but I just couldn’t find enough time to make it. I’m sure you can understand._

_Know that I am still planning to attend the grand festival, and will be quick to respond to any letters of inquiries you may have for me._

_Again, apologies for my absence, and I hope to see you soon._

_Corrin”_

Takumi lowered the scroll and looked back at the others expectantly. Everyone practically slumped in their seats as they started to process what was said.

Quietly, Takumi added, “I, uh, think it’s also written in your native tongue on the bottom here.” Swallowing became difficult with his drying throat. The silence was killing him at this point. “I wouldn’t know, though- I can’t, uh, read it. Haha..”

_‘Just shut up, you’re making this so much worse!’_ He scolded himself.

After what felt like an eternity, Leo was the first to speak, “Gods.”

He ran a hand through his hair and held back a groan. He even started to feel a headache come on.

“Oh… and I’ve been waiting to see my dear Corrin for so long now.” Camilla pouted and rested her chin on her palm. “What a shame. The festival isn’t for another month!”

“Aww..” Elise slouched in a very child-like manner. “I was looking forward to seeing him again!”

“And I was looking forward to speaking with him. Specifically about our announcement…” Xander looked down in thought before shaking his head. “It can’t be helped. We were all well aware of Corrin’s workload. Ever since we entered this era of peace, Corrin has built a beautiful kingdom of both Hoshidan and Nohrian civilians alike. He’s had both the blessing and burden of managing two halves of both of our kingdoms territories.”

Takumi rolled up the scroll and stuffed it back in his sash. He wanted nothing more than to just sit down and let discussion fill the room.

“And our brother?” All possibilities of that wish were ruined when Hinoka asked that damn question, and Takumi was sure his face gave that away. .

“ _Right_ , about that..” He folded his hands within his sleeves and went on, “he’s fallen ill.” He glanced over at his sisters with nervous eyes. “You both are aware of this. We’ve been watching his health consistently over the past weeks, hoping it would get better in time for the banquet.”

‘ _Ryoma…’_ Hinoka clenched her fist against her thigh and tried to keep a straight face. Across from her, Sakura looked to be mostly confused, but her brother’s pleading expression told her not to pry.

“He was starting to get better yesterday, but this morning he was struck with another feverish wave.” Takumi lied through his teeth, trying to find any way to make this sound convincing as he twiddled his thumbs.

Xander looked at the prince in thought before calmly asking, “We’ve written to each other about this several times up until this point. Exactly why haven’t I been made aware of this?”

Takumi sucked in a quick breath, “Uhm,” 

‘ _Think of something, think of something..’_ He rattled his brain for an answer.

Xander’s face turned more serious, “I would like to think that our families have built up a strong enough connection to where keeping secrets is unnecessary.”

Takumi's mouth shot open to tackle that statement and the many, _many_ problems with such an assumption, but then quickly refrained. He was in no position to say something stupid right now.. Which was becoming more and more difficult as he kept stringing together this lie.

“It’s not really a matter of keeping something from you,” He scrambled to correct himself. “It’s more of a cultural custom! Personal matters of health are typically to be kept between close family. Relinquishing that kind of information would be a burden to you, so…”

“Is _that_ why his responses have hardly contributed anything to the planning process of the festival?” Leo chimed in, more bitter than he intended. He peeked through one of his fingers that rested across his face and saw Takumi shoot him a flustered look.

“ _How am I supposed to-”_ The Hoshidan prince caught himself before he ended up speaking too loudly. He cleared his throat and started over, “Yes. He hasn’t had a clear mind for quite some time now.”

“It… it’s true.” Sakura added quietly, the focus being drawn to her. “We promise you he… he didn’t mean to cause any trouble.” Both she and Takumi exchanged smiles before briefly looking to see if Hinoka would jump in as well. She remained stiff and kept her gaze directed at her lap. Her lips didn’t even budge.

Takumi then scanned Xander’s face to see if he bought any of it. He looked pensive for a few moments before again shaking his head.

“I think… we can all agree that as a king, Ryoma’s health is of utmost importance.” He then nodded as though he had to convince himself of this. “Yes. For now, rest is best for him, especially if this has been happening for some time now.”

“Yeah…” Takumi shifted his gaze to the table.

“But in the future, I would like to know in advance of any potential issues.” Xander added firmly. “Please relay that to your brother when you return home.”

After a deep inhale, Takumi answered, “Of course.”

Although he was becoming increasingly irritated with the outcome of the day, Xander couldn’t help but crack a smile at the young man. “You must be tired.” He said alongside a soft chuckle. 

Takumi sputtered out a quick, “W-what? Not at all!” 

“Nonsense.” Xander then gestured to what would have been Ryoma’s seat at the end of the table. “Please sit. I will order for our meal to be served and then all of us will discuss our next course of action. Regardless of any absences today, we can still salvage tomorrow’s plans.” 

The banquet dragged on at a snail’s pace, almost to the point where Sakura was bobbing her head over her bowl of soup. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice, least of all Elise who chattered on and on, being the only thing keeping her awake all night. Not a word was said from either Leo nor Hinoka, and it didn’t seem like they had much of an appetite either. 

The head of the discussion was mostly led by Xander and Camilla, but Takumi had no idea how he was supposed to follow their conversation. It was nearly impossible to hear being seated so far away from the conversation. That, alongside Elise’s laughing and joking, left every bit of the conversation to crumble before him.

Truthfully, he was just glad to finally be able to eat and be seated. He was both dreading and looking forward to falling asleep that night. At the very least, he knew it wouldn’t take long for him to fall asleep, which was usually the first problem. But he knew better than anyone else, a quicker fall into slumber meant the most inescapable nightmares-

But still, the night dragged on.

* * *

**Later that night…**

Takumi jolted up from his bed in a mess of sweat and heat. The room was dark, only illuminated by the moonlight peeking through his window. The light was only able to touch parts of his bed and legs, leaving the rest untouched. His legs jittered and twitched as he felt fire run through his veins, while his arms and hands felt as though he had wandered through snow. His head- by the gods, his head felt like someone had swung an axe at it.

No, his head felt as though he had shot himself with his own arrows, 20, maybe 30 times over. Each arrow hit its mark exactly: right above his neck and right on his forehead. 

The room was silent. Too silent, at that. So silent it made Takumi realize that he had stopped breathing, forcing himself to let out his own clogged air in a chant of pants and heaves. The sudden release eased the tension on his neck and instead targeted the entire left half of his head. That comforting moonlight betrayed him by stabbing his eye with all it’s might. He fell back down to his bed and threw the covers over his face, as if he could hide from the pain.

This had been happening every other night. Nightmares were already a common occurrence for him, but recently they had been... insufferable.

He needed a walk.

Takumi left the comfort of his chambers to the freshly polished floors and the towering walls. He dismissed the worried comments from either of his retainers and other servants he ran into on his way, making a direct turn into what looked to be one of the courtyards. 

_‘Just as ugly outside as it is inside.’_ He thought as he observed the lifeless open area. There was a beauty to it, one that resembled the crumbles of a lost civilization. It was dark, damp and empty, but obviously salvaged to where some use could be made of it. As if someone had pride in this castle, in this land.

Oh, how he couldn’t help but still hate this country.

“-this is a rather odd time for a stroll, Prince Takumi.” Came a voice that once would have made his blood boil. Now, though, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that familiar tone.

He looked over his shoulder and smirked, “Ah, Prince Leo. You’ve graced me with your presence.” 

“So, I have.” Leo said, raising his chin as he once would so long ago at his Hoshidan counterpart. But then a teasing smile came to his cheeks. “You should be grateful.”

“ _Please._ Spare me. _”_ Takumi dropped himself on a stone slab by one of the yard’s square ponds. 

The water was cloudy and green from collected rainwater and bacteria. Still, it was the only thing adding some natural color to the place.

The prince looked up to the other with tired eyes, “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Do you really think you’re in a position to ask _me_ any questions? You’re in my territory you know.” Leo took a seat next to him despite the little room. 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Takumi leaned back on his hands and cracked his neck. Very ungraceful of him but that was nothing new. “It’s been years, but I’m still not used to this whole... _thing_.”

“You’re telling me.” Leo matched his lean and crossed a leg as he stared up at the night sky. Not one star in sight. Just dark patches of looming clouds that threatened to pour at any moment. “It feels like just yesterday we were at each other’s throats.”

“And now we’re allies.” Takumi showed him a smile. “ _Friends_ even.”

“Mmhmm.”

“I mean-” Takumi sat up abruptly. “This is a _royal reunion_ ! Me, Hinoka and Sakura are completely defenseless. In your castle- in Nohrian robes!” He pulled at the itchy fabric he was forced to wear. He was convinced that he had _not_ tied the front correctly but he gave up hours ago. “This is just strange to see..”

Leo raised his brows and shrugged. “Hopefully it sets an example.” He began tapping one of his fingers against the seat. “Our people still aren’t coming to terms with our kingdoms at peace.” 

“Hmm, I wonder why?” Another eye roll came. Before Leo could snipe at him for that, he continued, “I’m sure the festival will get them going. Commoners love those kinds of things.”

Takumi heard a small chuckle come from his side. 

Leo leaned in. “What, _fun?”_

Takumi turned his attention back to the water and huffed. “Festivals, parties, balls, banquets… they’re all the same at the end of the day.” He shot a glance back at Leo. “And _no_ , they’re not fun!”

Takumi hunched his shoulders and stared deep into the pond, trying to outline every rock and colorful stone hidden beneath the murky surface. He was startled when he felt a hand touch his shoulder.

“You love to overthink things. We’ve been planning for this cross-kingdom festival for a little over a year now, it’ll be fine.” Leo shook him slightly. “And it’ll do wonders for our people. Just look at how much you’ve come around.”

Takumi whipped his head around, “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?!”

“ _It means_ that before the war ended, you hardly wanted to share the same air as my people.” Leo shook his head and quickly fixed the front of Takumi’s robes. “And now… you’re wearing our cloth.” 

“Please, this is just to be polite. How can you wear these things every night? They’re so-”

“Hm?” Leo hadn’t looked up from his hands. “Stiff, itchy and far too complicated? No different from yours.”

“I think that was just incompetency on _your_ part, you couldn’t even find the sleeves to your robes!” Takumi waved off his attempts to fix his clothes and laughed. Leo narrowed his eyes but they quickly faltered into an eye roll.

“You’re too much.” Leo fixed his bangs and stood up. “I should be heading back inside. It’s getting cold.”

Takumi’s smile fell slowly as he watched Leo prepare to leave. “Yeah.. it is, isn’t it.”

“Would it kill you to get some sleep? We’re going to see the public tomorrow and it’d be nice if you looked somewhat decent.”

The other ignored that last comment and stood up as well. “With how much powder they’ll put on my face, they’ll hardly notice. I’ve done this many times before.”

Leo brushed off his pants and sighed, “You never change, do you?”

“Oh, I’ve changed!” Takumi smirked and took a few steps closer, “But you clearly haven’t.” He lightly tugged on the flimsy tag exposed on the back of Leo’s robes. The prince’s ears suddenly flared up red.

“ _Goodnight, Prince Takumi._ ” Leo waved him off and quickly returned inside. Takumi snorted at his embarrassment and fell back to the stone. Silence settled upon him and he welcomed it begrudgingly. He looked up at the sky and noted the position of the moon above him. Soon enough it’ll be morning, and a new day he’d have to tackle. It really wouldn’t be too long now. 

Hours go by fast when you’re lost in thought.

The prince leaned down and dipped his fingers within the pond, allowing the jolt of cold to keep him awake just a little longer.


End file.
